I get a lot of questions about how couplesshould deal with relationship problems and whether or not it’s worth to gothrough counselling. The truth is that the success ofrelationship counselling depends on a number of factors. In order forcounselling to be effective, the couple should be willing to engage in thewhole process. When couples encounter bumps in the road, they seek the help ofa therapist to quickly remedy their situation.
But you have to understand that counsellingcanbe a slow process. It takes time to rebuild commitment, regain what’s beenlost, and relearn certain relationship skills. The duration also depends on the gravity ofyour problems as a couple. There are instances when marital problems have beengoing on for years before couples decide to see a therapist. If negative issuesare caught in time and the hurt can be prevented from building up, there’s a greaterchance your relationship can be saved.
But whether you and your partner areexperiencing a major conflict or dealing with trivial matters on a daily basis,know that your relationship can benefit a lot from counselling. Howcan marriage counselling help couples? Here are some of the ways marriagecounselling can help your relationship. 1.Have a neutral territory to address difficult issues Nothing good ever comes out of the “I’mright and you’re wrong” argument.
Couples sometimes find it hard to discusstheir problems among themselves for fear of being misunderstood and eventuallystarting a conflict. Marriage counseling provides couples with asafe, non-judgmental environment where they can express themselves and address problemsin their relationship. Therapists work with both parties—they don’t take sides.Talking to a third party will help you make clearer decisions without theemotional trauma that often comes with unhealthy confrontations. 2.
Couples can express themselves freely It’s hard to process feelings and emotionsif you keep them bottled up inside. My experience with several couples I’veworked with is that they typically give generic statements to avoid opening anybuilt-up emotions. Marriage counselling gives each party the chance to talkabout their own emotions uninhibited, where the therapist encourages each one tolet their feelings flow and help make sense of them. A therapist gives equaltime and attention to both parties. Once all hidden emotions are out in theopen, this can help your partner feel more empathy towards you and have abetter understanding of what you’re going through. 3.Learn new ways to resolve conflict Marital problems are caused by differentcircumstances. It could be that couples are no longer communicating effectivelyor they lack empathy towards each other.
Whatever the reason, a therapist canprovide new tools to help you recognise and resolve conflicts better. Counselling will help you identify toxicpatterns in your relationship that you should learn to avoid to give way forpositive changes. You will learn new ways to have conversations arounddifficult matters that will not escalate into big fights. You will learn new skillsthat will enable you to approach problems as a team and not individually. 4.
Rebuild trust When there is betrayal involved, oftencouples completely lose their ability to trust each other. Trust is devalued,often even lost, and this is affecting the quality of their interactions. Trusttakes years to build and seconds to destroy. A therapist works through thiscarefully, taking tiny, slow steps, which eventually leads to reintroducingtrust into the relationship. The start of the counselling process can bedaunting at first. But you will find that the benefits of therapy arerewarding. Just agreeing to see a therapist is in itself an important steptowards creating a stronger relationship. You will realise that simply beingwilling to work together, to go through even the most difficult stages oftherapy, to be honest with each other, and to understand each other’s emotionscan solve even your most ingrained problems as a couple.